As my work continues this year on The Documented Life Project, I find myself struggling to not only find time to be creative, but also to dig deep for inspiration. It has been a struggle to balance the "must do's" with the "want to do's" as I move through each day. Hypervigilance has been my constant companion--fearful that I might miss some important item that needs tending too. And yet I know this is not healthy and can't go on indefinitely.
And so I push on, making time for art and creativity as I know these are safe havens for me.
The theme for DLP this month is to find the the value in small moments – a hug, a smile, an act of random kindness. Lately I have been living in tiny increments of time, moving through the day hour by hour and not allowing myself to think too far into the future. This has turned out to be a blessing as I am taking time to truly be present in the moment so I’m noticing things in my life that I have taken for granted or have seen so many times that I have become insensitive to them.
Today I was dusting the same old knick-knacks I’ve dusted a thousand times before and I took the time to really look at the collection of things on the shelves. My husband took many trips to the Holy Land and amassed a beautiful collection of pottery and relics from the time of Christ. As I was going through the pieces and thinking about him, I came across this tiny box that I hadn’t paid attention to in years. . .
I had forgotten all about these coins and truly never gave them a thought until today.
That’s what I am now.
I haven’t gotten used to the title although every day, someone in some fashion uses the word to remind me of my status.
The story of the Widow’s Mite is told in scripture . . . “As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.” Luke 21:1-4
As I thought of the scripture verse, something more came to my heart – this discovery of these tiny coins represented to me, not only the story of the widow giving all she had, but it showed her FAITH that God would provide, no matter the sacrifice.
A “mite” is the smallest of Roman coins and the least valuable. As I turned these coins over in my hand, I did not think of small or humble things, but rather I thought of the word, “MIGHT,” as defined here:
1. physical strength:.
2. superior power or strength; force:
3. power or ability to do or accomplish; capacity
In the four months that I have held the title Widow, I have learned that I possess great “might” as I face daily obstacles and hurdles. This “might” that God gave me to carry on and learn that the title “widow” is not synonymous with “victim.” It is a power and strength that God provides daily to face and conquer all that goes along with the job. And so I am learning to wear proudly this badge, with the knowledge that He’s got me, I can do all things through Him, as the Widow’s Mite takes on new meaning in my life. I am so grateful that every day there are subtle and gentle reminders that I am loved and I am not alone.
To all of you who have reached out to me and shared your own stories of losing your spouse, I thank you from the depths of my soul for your bravery, your strength, and your great love and encouragement. You have all mentored and nurtured me and I know I am destined to do the same for others.
"She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong." ~ Proverbs 31:17